Monday, 23 January 2017

The story of 10 year old Tayyaba may have made headlines but if truth be told, this is the story of every child in Pakistan. Almost every child in this country has faced mental, physical or sexual abuse at one or more stages of their lives. Child sexual abuse is a well-discussed evil in all present day societies but the physical and mental abuse which almost every child in Pakistan faces is not discussed at all. In fact, parents seem to be rather proud of how many times they have smacked an unruly toddler into “good behavior”.
I as a child have been a victim of this abuse in its worst form – the domestic physical abuse at the hands of my own mother.
I was the only girl in our family with no other girl of my age in my close relatives. As a result I used to spend my time playing with boys, my cousins or neighbors or just boys in the neighborhood. My mother hated these habits and she used to beat me with sticks, utensils or whatever else she found handy. Yes, I was only 7 or 8 years old.
Since early childhood, I have seen my mother fighting and cursing my father for his long absences from home and for spending more time at work than she believed was appropriate. His return home after two or three month long absences were the only time when I was happy.
I complained to him about my mother not treating me well and my father often chided her with harsh language and sometimes even with violence. It was short-lived though. When he returned after a couple of days, my mother would intensify her abuse. My mother started hating my father and everything associated with him, and being the closest to him, she began to resent me the most.
When I was 10 years old I fell off a wall and almost fractured my leg. When I went crying to my mother, she didn’t bother to see how serious the wound was, only responding with “I don’t care”. I spent the whole night with my leg bleeding. My brothers made fun of me when they saw me in the morning, mistaking my blood for menstrual blood.
When I went to a neighbour’s house to play with my friends they noticed my leg and wrapped a bandage around it and told my mother.  She only realised its severity and took me to the hospital when they came to our home to see me.
Deprived of female companionship, I used to spend my time climbing trees, playing cricket and flying kites with the boys around me. My mother never cared whether or not I had eaten anything. Instead she used to beat me every day when I returned home, often hungry. There were many nights when I went to bed hungry.
On my way to and from school, my brothers used to beat me as this was what they had learnt from our mother who paid no heed to my complaints.
At the age of 14, I had become a victim of an inferiority complex. I started smoking cigarettes first with my friends and later began stealing from my elder brother’s packs.  When my relatives found out, they told my  mother about my “immodesty” and my “immoral relations” with “bad boys”. My mum sent me to my maternal grandmother’s home.
My grandmother was the only person who loved me, and I started living with her. But my uncle, my mother’s cousin, also lived in the same home, and tried to abuse me many times. He used to inappropriately touch my breasts and genitals. I told my mother and she did nothing. One night while my grandmother was not home I had to sleep in his room. He molested me and sexually abused me many times. When grandmother returned I told her everything.
She went straight to her sister, my uncle’s mother, who blamed it all on my character. It was all my fault, and not my pedophile uncle’s.
From school to college to university I had no friends as I never came out of my horrible childhood shock.
I was then married to a rich businessman who was the son of my father’s friend. That abusive marriage was more a business deal and did not even last a year. My husband divorced me when he came to know that I could not have children, which turned out to be because of the excessive torture and abuse I had faced in my childhood.
My father passed away the same year mu divorce was finalized.
Now all four of my brothers are well settled in their own lives and my mother who was proud of them has completely lost them. They talk to her on phone once or twice a year considering it a great favor.
I along with my mother live in a rental house. She’s old now and she needs me and I am always there for her. I would have committed suicide out of my social anxiety and severe depression but I am alive only for her. I told her that I will be there for you till your last breath, till my last breath. That’s what daughters are.
I do not want to marry again. I do not want to face any relative or any person from my past. But today seeing poor Tayyaba in the news made my heart bleed. I want to adopt her and if that is not possible, any other girl to give her all that I could not get. I wish no other Hamna or Tayyaba has to face anything I went through.

-Hamna Ali

Sunday, 26 April 2015

It goes on and on. It is true that life means to be lived in the best way, but actually not in the way which we actually are.We all belong to the new progeny or the worst progeny we can say. If one really want to be successful in life then learn to respect women, because behind every successful man is a women.
A boy named after Logan, a play boy he was, breaking hearts of many girls. Just using them and then throwing them as if they were a toilet paper. He broke the hearts of many girls. Once a girl named after Sara was also destroyed by him. Sara loved him very much, she thought that Logan was a very sincere person & Logan also made her believe that she was the only one for him. Sara was deeply in love with him, she was even ready to give her life for Logan. But she didn't knew that Logan was a playboy, a liar he was. One day late night Logan called Sara and told her that he was missing her so much and wanted to meet her at the point, Logan was standing right outside her house and somehow Sara tried to escape form her home. Thinking that it was fun, it would be good to spend a night with her boy. Sara thought that nothing would happen all we would do is sleep together and nothing else, but unfortunately she was wrong! While Sara was laying with Logan, Logan asked her whether she love him or not? Sara's answer was that she loved him more than herself. Sara was not expecting anything bad from Logan, but what did he do?! He raped Sara, and moved on to his life. Now Sara is all alone, not believing all what happened with her, and trying various methods to kill herself, but unfortunately she cant help it out. As Logan was a playboy he moved onto another girl, Evalana. Evalana was a beautiful and intelligent  girl. And accidentally Logan felt in love with her. Evalana used to talk to Logan only on phone calls and messages & whenever Logan said that he wanted to meet her she refused. An year went by and Logan's admiration for Evalana growed up in a deeper affection and he sent him a proposal of marriage, which was rejected! Logan used to be the one who used to play with the life of innocent girls, but this time a simple 19 year old girl proved herself. Evalana was actually the sister of one of the girl destroyed by Logan. Evalana came in Logan's life to teach him a lesson. But this wasn't actually a a lesson for Logan1 After two years Logan was married to a girl of his mothers choice, and he was blessed with a baby girl. The girl is now 18 years old & the most unluckiest girl in the world. Played by many, used by many. She is actually getting punished for what her father used to do with the daughters of other father. So think before destroying a girl.

Thursday, 23 April 2015

A girl named after Amanda Todd.
She posted a video on YouTube a few days ago.
She was bullied so bad it led to suicide...

She was in a webcam chat group to meet up with new and old people.
They started calling her Beautiful, Stunning, cute, Etc.
And then they asked her to flash...
So she did.....
Thinking it was nothing...
A year went by and some guy she did not know, messaged her saying ”Give me a 'show' or I will send your boobs.”
She ignored it.....
Christmas Break came and a knock came on her door at 4 AM.
It was the police...
That person sent the picture to EVERYONE.
Everyone judged her.
Bullied her.
She ended up switching schools.
That person found out her school, friends, address once again and sent them there too.
She had no one.
Everyone hated her.
She ended up switching towns.
Then at this new school....She met this boy who she thought liked her.
He didn't....he had a girlfriend.
One day she got a note saying you better leave school.
She didn't.
A group of boys and girls including that boy, the girlfriend and more came up to her while the school surrounded her.
The girl said “Look around, No one likes you.”
One kid from the group said “JUST PUNCH HER ALREADY!” So she did, and Amanda got beat really bad.
And got left.
And her dad ended up finding her in a ditch hours later.
She went home and drank bleach, to try to kill herself.
It didn't work.
The next day all over her Facebook page was written
“Drink some more bleach",
"No one cares",
"I hope she dies, "No one would cry", "Everyone hates you", "Amanda try it again we dare you"…and so much more.
She cried every night. Why did everyone hate her.
One mistake.
She started cutting so much and did drugs,and drank alcohol.
She ended up trying to kill herself again.
She failed.
She couldn't take it anymore.
At the end of the video it said ”I am Amanda Todd. I just need someone.” October 10th she hung herself.
She is dead. Rest in paradise, Amanda. You're beautiful. I will find a way to help stop bullying. I will share your story.
And everyone please "Be sure to taste your words before you spit them"